Lemme just warn you now that this probably isn’t gonna make any sense..
Kinda disappointed in myself right now. Don’t really wanna talk about it, but I need to in order to get over it. Sucks.
Had a phone interview type of thing earlier. Failed so freakin hard. Also disappointed because I practically tripped over verbiage. Just that alone accounts for an epic failure. Fuck. How can someone as insistent as I am about language and grammar and the like, TRIP over fucking words?! Ugh..
Wish I was more confident in myself and my abilities. Or rather, wish I was more confident when it matters. Because I’m way more than confident but always at the wrong times. I know what the problem is, and what pisses me off more is that it isn’t anything anyone can “fix” nor is it anyone’s fault. I’m pissed at the lack of experience I have. Or don’t have. Whatever. And of course, the saying goes “everybody has to start somewhere.” That’s not the point. Or is it? Whatever. But it bothers me a lot more than it should. Which sucks too.
Something else that pissed me off though, was not of my doing. But it has to do with schooling, education level, and the like. I’ll have another entry for that another time.
Well. At least I feel slightly better now.
加油, Miss J!
We fail at times (I know, sometimes miserably) so we can be stronger when we get back up the next time. Looking back…we’ll actually appreciate all the failures that we had.
I was once at a live competition, and I literally “froze” in front of the audience (stage freight) despite of hours of rehearsals and practices that I had – so embarrassing, and disappointing. I don’t think I have overcame that completely yet, but this incident reminds me to get stronger and be more confident every time.
Remember this video?
http://www.djonathansblog.com/2009/09/26/%E6%B4%BB%E8%91%97-%E6%99%82%E9%96%93/
Hope you’re feeling better!
I was doing good; but am even better now with the video. Thanks for the reminder, DJ – I totally needed that.
Interestingly enough, I’ve never “frozen” during any performances, but I have had my voice crack. It was during my high school graduation. Way embarrassing. Made me stop singing for about 2 yrs. I’m singing again, but I haven’t performed since, so yea.. So do you play instruments? What kind of live competition was this?
Able to speak/perform in public is always something I’m sooo scared of – but always wanting to get better at and keep testing myself…
I guess it’s similar to those who like to watch scary movies… 又愛又怕 
I played a few years of piano, and learned a little bit of clarinet and drumming. I guess I have tried a few things but never really good at any .
I think I am the type who enjoys music more than actually being a performer. The competition was part of my radio DJ “training” a few years ago – there was a live contest at the end of the program. Hey do you play the piano?
Looks like you really hate the rain… You will not like it here in Seattle.
As long as I’m having fun, I don’t really have a problem performing in front of people. I love it, and the feeling it brings. It’s a feeling unlike any other.
I sort of play a few things.. I mostly play by ear, so pretty much as long as you explain to me how to play a scale on an instrument, I think I can pretty much play.
I sort of taught myself the piano (even though that doesn’t make sense.. cause you’re just pushing keys), I played the violin for about a year.. Tried to convert to the guitar, but I keep holding it like a violin, and fingering got really tiring so I stopped. I started singing when I stopped playing. That was a while ago.
LOL sorry, you probably didn’t want to know all that :p